Dear Haters: Man, you guys rock! I keep trying to tell myself I'm stupid, I suck, I write pointless posts, and my fingers might as well be cut off and fed to carnivorous hamsters. But noooo, apparently some people…

I've always thought it would be cool to be, well, cool. Because, really, who wouldn't be cool if they weren't cool? So one day I tried being cool, but I just came off as really weird and stuff. I wasn't attractiv…

I was originally going to title this post "Comedy For Dummies," but thought that was too offensive and confusing, since it could be taken several ways. One person might think that means this post is literally a bunch…

I suppose you could consider me crazy, on account of the fact that I love attempting daredevil stunts, more or less to impress the ladies who usually aren't paying attention to me either way. But I still do it, just…

Paris Hilton steps out of the trees. DrugInducedDuck: "What is she doing out in the woods?"Paris Hilton spotted us and walked in our direction.AvenueToTheReal immediately shot her in the face.Paris fell down. Cakalusa…