Monday, 09 March 2009

• The Top 10 Kinds Of People That Annoy Me

  I love people. I guess I'm a people person, but I thought I was a dog person, but I think you can be both. At least, I hope you can. Humans make great pets, even though dogs are smarter. And have more visual appeal.

  

  Anyway. From my brief mingling with humans (I'm a cyborg, in case you didn't know, and I intend on taking over the world using ketchup and lawn cutting equipment, just as soon as I finish my waffles), I've determined that some of them are awesome, some of them are fun, and a lot of them are stupid.

  Bara-

  I shouldn't say that. That's racist.

  I thought, as a sort of revenge, I should write about them all in a blog. Because that would be very funny, as long as I didn't include names.

  Then it'd be hilarious.

  Okay, maybe I should list them now before you fall asleep. (Although, I'd be honored if my blogs were usable as sleep aids. That'd be awesome; the makers of NyQuil would start blogging in retaliation).

  10. Japanese People.

  Because they will always be infinitely better than me at video games, and they have those awesome cars all over the place.

  That, and they have such a pretty creamy complexion, like yogurt. Freaks.

  

  Man, they think of everything.

  9. People Who Take The Internet Seriously.

  People: it's just the internet. It's just Xanga. It's just Myspace. It's just Facebook. It's just made-up drama. All you have to do is hit the power button on your computer and walk away. Or, you could take it seriously and let it control your life until you become a complete internet loser who spends all their time inside. You can get offended, you can cry, you can complain that you're not famous online, but that doesn't change a thing. Get a life.

  And go make me a sammich.

  8. Fake Emo Kids.

  If you wear all black clothing, that's okay by me. If you listen to screamo, I don't care. If you never smile, I could care less.

  I don't mind real emos, the kind that's actually depressed most (if not all) of the time, but when you get a lip ring, apply some makeup, and dye your hair black and do the whole emo-clothes deal, we're not going to get along. People who pretend to be someone they're not aggravate me to no end, with pretend emos at the front of that group. A real emo is someone who actually has problems, not someone who pretends to for the attention. I have "real" emo friends, but people who do it just for the look and act depressed should run into a building while skiing.

  One day, you may have to face it, you're not really emo. 

  

  7. People Who Don't "Get" Sarcasm.

  Like, really. How hard is it to comprehend my sarcasm when I say, "man, I didn't get any black m&m's in this baggy. I'm going to jump off a cliff " ?

  "Ohmygoth, please don't! I'd miss you!"

  I wouldn't jump off a cliff. That's too easy. I'd rather be mauled to death by a bunch of harmless-looking kittens on caffeine pills. That's more my style.

  On the other hand, people like that can be fun, like the time I -sarcastically- told a girl the only way to stop when skiing was to run into a building, and she believed me. (Until someone convinced her otherwise, ruining my fun).

  6. The Crazy People Who Subscribe To Me.

  Seriously, man, I could be an old fat dude, man. I could be a pervert who just sits on the internet all day looking for funny demotivational posters.

  

  In my underwear.

  5. People Who Think They Know EVERYTHING.

  Because, when you go to say something, it's always, "yeah, I knew that, dude" or "well, that should be obvious."

  Enough said.

  

  Yeah.

  4. People Who Are Convinced They're Ninjas.

  Ninjas never dress in street clothes. For all you know, ninjas could always walk around naked. Therefore, you cannot be standing there in gym shorts and a Hawaii shirt and telling me you're a ninja. That's just not right. Ninjas aren't proven to be real, because nobody ever sees them. That only leaves one possibility; ninjas are invisible. If I'm here looking you in the face, you can't be invisible, so you can't be a ninja.

  I haz freekin ninjuh pikshure:

  

  3. People Who Think Obama Will Solve All Of Their Problems.

  Obama is only human (as far as we know). He's not going to make you lose weight by sneezing on you, he's not going to lower gas prices overnight (or maybe even ever), he may not even be able to get the economy back where we'd like it to be. But he's the President of The United States, because like it or not, you voted for him to be. So, yeah. Get realistic. Obama isn't God.

  2. People Who tYpE LiK tHiS or lyk dis lol omg or likeee thisss okayyyy.

  WeReN't u tAuGhT prpr englishhh? Wth?

  1. People Who Think They're "Gangster."

  1. Pull your pants up. Having your belt loops and wallet chains drag the ground doesn't make you cool.

  2. Stop saying, "wus up, n*gga?", "holla at me, dawg", etc.

  3. Stop cussing like a drunken sailor. I cuss when I get really mad, but I don't drop the f-bomb every other word just because I think it's cool.

  4. Why are you wearing pantyhose on your head? (And I'm not just talking about black guys).

  5. Stop calling yourself a pimp, unless, of course, you are one.

   

  Which personality type (of these or otherwise) annoys you the most?

   

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