Wednesday, 05 September 2012
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Yo, you da best girlfried ever dawg, I love you with all I got, and I'd give all my welfare checks and my pimpin rims just to make you happy. You really do mean the world to me, I love you so much, you're my number one gangsta, and you deserve all the bling in da ghetto babe. I love you! :D
So that's what I typed in a sticky note on my girlfriend's computer a few weeks ago. Before you get all steamed, yeah I know it's kinda maybe a little bit racist, but I was trolling, we do stuff like that to each other all the time, it's just one of our inside jokes, and I don't know many black people who talk like that.
Anyway, she was at college one day and she left her laptop screen up, and one of her black guy friends (no jokes please) asked if her boyfriend was black. No, I'm not bsing, I'm dead serious. She was like, "huh"? And he pointed at her computer and referred to the sticky note. She said no, I was white, and he asked if she was sure. She told him yes. He kept prodding and asking if she was "dating a brother" and all sorts of questions, and he refused to believe I was white. He even said I typed like a black guy and he thought I was referring to "fried chicken" when I said "girlfried", which was actually a typo when I wrote it but I left it because it was funny. She finally proved I was white by showing him a picture and told him I was a bodybuilder, and he was like, "a white bodybuilder? Really?" I make an impact everywhere I don't go.
I know that's not a very realistic love letter for a black man, the grammar and dialogue would differ a tiddly bit and there was nothing about basketball or MJ...I'm kidding. Honestly, I have a lot of respect for black people, they're people too, there's nothing different about them except their skin color and the way they act, but there are a handful of them that give the rest of them a bad name, and that goes for every nationality.
On a side note, I still don't have a job, or a car, and I still live at home (I'm not leading up to a racist joke). I'm 20 years old, and I found an old fortune cookie slip the other day that read "Your business will assume vast proportions." This gave me a little hope, as the only three business ideas I have in mind are: personal trainer (first choice), insurance agent (meh, it makes good money but it's boring), and black man greeting card writer. Don't hate.
Also, Stephen Colbert for president.
That is all.
Sunday, 06 November 2011
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. :) I'll get back to you all tomorrow on comments, I'm on the slowest laptop ever, at least by today's standards. It literally took me twenty minutes just to get to and log in to Facebook a few days ago. Would have posted the pictures yesterday but nothing ever works out as according to plan for me, ever. Anyway, yeah, here's me currently (yesterday), the only good picture I could get on my -1 megapixel phone, but it gives you a general idea, haha.
^ 17" arms, 1" away from my dream goal. One more year or so.
(There would be shirtless pictures but I slacked for a few months, due to family stuff and stress, so I literaly worked out once a week with a buddy so my abs don't look so chisled right now, but the 8-pack is still lurking under there somewhere, give me about three weeks straight in the gym and it'll be better than ever, starting two weeks from now).
A good back picture from back in June. My back is my best genetic feature, so yeah. I think it looks pretty wicked, but I've never had it completely ripped at this size, I was either small with low bodyfat or heavily muscled with higher bodyfat, but you can see some straitions on the middle there, can't wait to bring those out a little better. :D It's coming along, I'll post some leg/calf/chest/back/ab/arm pictures in a few days, my legs have shrunk a lot (they were 24 1/2" around) but it all comes back quick, and I know a few tricks, so I'll be at 205lbs (180-ish now) by the year's end.
What you want for Christmas?!
Friday, 04 November 2011
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
So, the past few months have been a mishmash of this, that and the other, with a little bit of wtf thrown in. I'll start with July.
I lifted weights at home for two years (off and on, I think the longest I ever worked out at home without having to take a break that lasted at least a fortnight was maaaybe four months). So it was very off and on for me. But yeah, I stopped working out at home in the first week in July, went to the beach for a week with my girlfriend and her family and uncle and aunt and cousins and grandma, and I'm still surprised my parents let me go with them. And no, there was no "private time" while there.
In August, I was supposed to get a job washing windows, making around $11/hour. That didn't work out, I had to tell the guy I'd call him around mid-October and see if there was an opening then because I had no vehicle to drive the 45+ miles there errday, not to mention no gas money (I wouldn't have called him in the first place if I had known my parents wouldn't let me borrow their vehicle yet). I was hoping by mid October I would have come up with the money to fix my parents' van and some extra for gas, selling evil-hearted unicorns on the black market, but black people don't seem to want to pay so much for evil-hearted unicorns these days (only kidding). But really, I got this figgered out, I'll be doing some gopher work on a construction site starting soon hopefully, make monies, fix van, use the rest for gas, and get that job washing windows, get a car, get in the gym, become an insurance agent and a personal trainer, etc. Called about the job August 1st.
August 2nd, I was using one of these...
to drive one of these into the ground...
and pretty much, somehow, the first thing (t-post hand driver, which weights about 20lbs) bounces off the top of the t-post (above) and comes back and skims the top of my noggin. I kinda blacked out for a second or two, fell down, sat there, looked at my little brother on the fourwheeler and said "IS MY HEAD BLEEDING?!" And about the time he went to answer me (he was kinda shocked), blood was dripping on my hands. It was freaky, I thought I was dreaming. So I get on the fourwheeler and he hauls it to the garage (where dad was) and I get off the fourwheeler and immediately say "the t-post driver bounced off the top of the t-post and hit me on top of the head". The first thing he says to me - I swear to God - "does it hurt?" So I just shove my bloody hand on top of my head and rub it around, it's covered in blood now, and say "yeah, kinda!" I wish I had taken pictures before I cleaned up, my face was COVERED in blood, it looked like I had gotten in a fight and barely won. That was my third concussion. I wore a motorcycle helmet next time I drove a t-post.
October so far has been ugh ew gross nasty I'm going back to bed. But, mom ran across that construction job, me and my little brother have been helping a buddy with some tree work for some good money (NO JOKES!) and stuff is finally turning around a little. I'll be 20 in 8 days. Word. Also, I've been working out two-three times a month with a buddy, who is jacked to high heaven. That picture from my last post? I was around 195 (around 9% bodyfat), the biggest I've ever been, since I'm not working out at home anymore I've lost some muscle, so I'm down to 178-ish. My buddy is the same height, we have pretty much the same strength on literally everything, but he's 250 (same height) and around 11% bodyfat. His calves are bigger than my neck, and bigger than Ah-nold's were in his prime, but he never works them, they've always been that way. He's extremely genetically gifted mass-wise, and he's never done steroids or anything like that, ever. He literally has no idea what he's doing in the gym until we work out together and I show him, he can't even do any of it without me there. Sucky genetics for the sads. Anybody want any help with bodybuilding, I know more than your average personal trainer, so send me a message or add me on FB and we can chat about yo problems.
Now it's picture timeee for everyone who couldn't stand to read that much, yay!
This is one of my 70+ chickens (I lost count) and there is no caption. Make your own!
Monday, 20 June 2011
I haven't "religiously" (there's a use for that word!) used Xanga for a long time now (but Xanga hasn't used me either so that's only fair). It's been like a year or something, no need to be decisive about it or anything. I do miss writing random stuff and getting random comments. I know you have to comment people to get your own comments, because that would be selfish not to, and reciprocation is important for everyone's happiness. I really doubt anybody will read/comment this (because most of my friends are probably gone), but anyway, yeah. I's going to start using it again, kinda weekly, and get at east 10 comments per post, because if I don't then I'll get discouraged and leave again. Just kidding. I'll be back, momentarily. In the meantimes, I has been bodybuilding, has proof.
Need to shave.
Monday, 16 August 2010
Tuesday, 04 May 2010
Once upon a time, in some place fah, fah away (depending on where you live), there was This Dude. He liked blogging and stuff. He started blogging nearly three years ago, about a year and four months after meeting the most beautiful girl ever imaginable (who later became his girlfriend). He liked writing deep things and poetry, but felt that had no place on the interwebs. But he still settled right into Xanga and blogged his little heart out. It was his outlet. His feedback source. That's why he liked it so much, because people told him how they felt about how he felt, and he just thought that was pretty cool. Then he got a girlfriend, and Xanga started pushing back, but it faltered. It wasn't Xanga's fault at all; This Dude had just changed. This Dude still loved Xanga, he just didn't know what to write anymore. He could now write deep things and poetry for his girlfriend, and she jumped all over him and kissed him and held him and loooved him and wanted to marry him and all that sappy stuff. He didn't really need an outlet on the internet anymore, because his girlfriend gave him feedback and he liked not having to type to spill his feelings (plus, Xanga never kissed and hugged him).
He did love his friends immensely though, so just for them he'd come back every few days and write something new. Then his uncle died, his sister got married, his brother nearly died in a car wreck, he started lifting weights, his grandpa moved in, his mother broke her leg, and he momentarily forgot Xanga. He started writing something every few weeks, or once a month, just cuz he loved his peoples. He started losing interest, not in the people, but writing. He didn't really see the point of it anymore. He didn't know why he did it before. Maybe because he had the time? He didn't anymore. He wondered what he could've accomplished in the time he'd spent there. This Dude felt bad for abandoning Xanga, because he had met so many wonderful people there. He went weeks without logging in. He stopped suddenly coming up with ideas for posts, he stopped being motivated to write and comment and read other blogs. He used to spend hours, every single day, writing and commenting. This Dude used to go crazy when he couldn't access a computer to write something or comment someone.
Now he goes crazy without his girlfriend, and sometimes he goes crazy without his weights. He felt ashamed to come back and blog again and leave for another month, because he knew some people would say "OMGZ U JUST DO IT 4 TEH COMMINTZ. ZERO EPROPS 4 U!" He didn't really do it for the comments in a way, but in a way he did. Everyone loves feedback, including This Dude, but he liked getting his feelings out and exposing how he felt, but knowing how someone felt about how he felt made him feel good about how he felt. He really missed his favorite writers, who undoubtedly left for Facebook. He still loved Xanga though. One day, he felt so bad, he thought he would log in and write a blawg about himself in third person, just to look clever, and inform his friends that he wasn't dead. He'll still comment his friends when he gets the chance, maybe once a week, but he's done blogging for the most part. But who knows...
This Dude may surprise you.
p.s. Man, the Ish sites suck now.
Monday, 22 March 2010
Friday, 22 January 2010
(Skip all this boring stuff if you wanna see some pictures!)
So the past month since I've updated has been unfairly hectic for an 18 year old guy. Or anybody for that matter, I guess. I've logged into Xanga several times a week, hoping to get the chance to write something, and every time I try, someone says my name and I need to go help with something. I guess that's the beauty of having nine siblings and living in the mountains with a lot of pets.
I used to deal with depression when I was fourteen-sixteen. Kinda weird how everything worked out. First it started when my parents would argue and I always wondered if it was something I did, because Dad might get disappointed in me for doing something wrong, then he and Mom might argue later, and it's always upsetting to see your parents argue anyway, especially at that age when you don't understand it. So my way of dealing with it was to write about how I felt in a notebook, and then, as weird as it sounds, I stepped up to writing poetry (some of it rather dark), and that helped a little more, then my mom approved my idea of getting a Xanga (not long after turning sixteen I think), and I wrote it all out here. I'd get up early every morning and just write whatever, and I was pleased with the results most of the time. I wouldn't say I'm a great writer, but writing to get my emotions out made me better than I started off.
Then life got busy, I couldn't use the computer as often, and Xanga drama got tiring after experiencing it over and over. I was never involved in any of it, seeing as how I didn't care. I mean, I see some important arguments here, but no matter how bad it gets, you can just turn off the computer. And Xanga started turning into a place where people just argued and started fights for attention, but that sort of fame never lasts, trust me I've tried. Plus people don't like you if you get known that way, and nobody has much respect for you, except maybe the people who also enjoy starting fights.
Gradually, I think I pulled away from Xanga. It stopped being an outlet because everyone just cared about being entertained. I can entertain, sure, but that feels so impersonal sometimes. I enjoy it, yes. It gets stressful, yes. It's rewarding, sometimes.
So anyhow, since I haven't been using Xanga for an outlet, I now have two other things that help with stress.
1) Most of you know that I have a girlfriend, whom I've been with for over thirteen months. Since I've been getting better at writing, but haven't been writing, I had to get it out somewhere, so love letters and poems were written (pretend you didn't read that if you still like to imagine me as a fighter and not a lover). Someone on Xanga (I think his username was aznroadrunner or something like that, but I can't find his Xanga anymore so he must've changed his username) told me that I wouldn't update as often when I got a girlfriend because I'd be too infatuated, like he was. I was like, "psh, yeah right. You really think so?" "Yes." He was right. I haven't updated half as much since I started going out with my girlfriend. In fact, next Wednesday (the 27th), I've known her for four years.
2) I've been lifting weights since August '09. I don't know if you can tell much difference, but I can feel a difference. It's a great rush and it's fun and enjoyable if you do it for the right reasons. I tried to stick with it just to get bigger and gave up after a week. Then it became my outlet for stress when I couldn't use a computer to write something, or when I couldn't see/call/text/ my girlfriend. I had to have something to burn off the stress and extra energy, so without boring you anymore, I give you the results of four months (I skipped almost all of November and about two weeks in December, I messed up my wrist and got sick so I couldn't work out. I've done every workout at home, and until today, I haven't used protein powder or anything else).
August 2009 (about a week after I started, and I don't know why I was flexing while holding a washcloth):
So as you can see, I'm not exactly huge, but another six months, and another six months, and another six months, gradually I should see some huge changes. I'm trying to take a picture every three-six months. To give you a general idea of how much progress I've made...
I was 157lbs when I started, I dropped to 142, and now I'm 150.
I was benchpressing 20lb dumbbells for maybe two reps max, and now I'm doing 53lbs for 8+ reps.
I was doing flys with 8lbs and now I'm doing 31lbs.
Curling 15 and now 65.
I don't want to be big enough that I look disgusting, but enough that I feel confident, because I never have.
I'm not showing off, I'm just saying, anyone can get in shape if they want it bad enough.
Also, yes I know I need to write something substantial like I used to every week. I miss writing here but lately time hasn't been something I have a lot of. Between cooking/washing dishes because my mom broke her leg (she won't be on her feet for three months, so things will stay busy for me until then) and helping Dad put the addition on the house, and taking care of our dogs, horses, chickens, and cutting wood, I've been getting up at 8 and going to bed at 12 and a lot of the time I have to skip my workouts because everything else gets tiring.
Anyway, yeah. I'll be back consistently when I can. I really do miss everyone. I'm going to try returning comments more often too. I know this post all sounds selfish and boring, but I'm not sure how to word everything differently (maybe I should have used a lot of exclamation marks! That would've helped a lot!)
How've you guys been? FILL ME IN YO.
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Oh hi. You might remember me, but it's okay if you don't. I'd understand.
I can explain my absence, really, but it's a loooong story. Funny how I said I'd start updating weekly, wrote two posts, then left Xanga for a month and a half. Ha.
IT SNOWED TODAY!!!!!1!!!!11!! Look really close between the tire tracks, about middle ways of the photo, k?
We only have like eight inches so far, but this thing is still fun in it. Ferrealz.
I iz gud picsure taker.
I love puppies.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww they're so cute youjustwannasnugglethemandcuddlethemandbuyanewrecipeboo-
OM NOM NOM NOM.
This is obviously just a filler post to make you excited and beg me to stop coming and going, so I'mma make you a deal: forget I ever left and I'll come back (yes, that makes perfect sense).
Although, my situation still limits my postings a bit, soooo I might be a big sporadic with my blogs.
I'm off to eat waffles. Yes, for supper. Don't judge!
Wednesday, 04 November 2009
I woke up this morning feeling terribly old and responsible, or at least I felt like I felt old and responsible (but not many people care about my feelings, so this is all irrelevant, haha).
Yup. Man, I can't believe I made it. I thought for sure my dad was gonna work me to death with chores before now.
You know what? "It's my birthday!" posts have always been awkward for me, because it's like asking for something, like you need to show off that it's your birthday so people will say "omgomgomg happy birthday!" I mean, really. I've always been uncomfortable with gifts, which either means I'm simple and easy to please and humble or something, or I just never learned to be gracious.
Anyhow. If anyone feels like giving me a birthday present, you can add me on Facebook and that'd be an awesome present, so I can keep up with you if you ever leave Xanga. Yeah, you. Just search my email (email@example.com) and I should be the only result (hopefully, anyway).
Alright you guys, I just wanna say one more thing: you're all awesome. I think you're all crazy, or at least the few of you who have been reading my posts the whole time I've been on here.
Okay, I'm gonna go now. Everyone have a great day!
I'm going to find some cake.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Pretty much every attractive girl I know has had that one guy she'd never date end up wanting to date her (note: I'm not necessarily talking about me here).
Not to say girls are stupid, but really, it isn't that hard to get a guy to leave you alone (most of the time). And seeing as how I've actually had requests for a post like this at least three or four times (which is awesome - I love it when people want something specific), I thought I'd go ahead and get it out. Without further delay...
How To Lose A Guy In (Less Than) Ten Days
Note: I've never seen the movie, just so you know in case I end up copying anything without knowing it.
# 10: Don't be nice to him just because you like the attention.
I'll be honest here: most (meaning almost all) guys are stupid when it comes to women. If you smile at him, sometimes he'll go, "holy crap she likes me!" So, keep yourself in check when you're around a guy who likes you that you're not interested in. And obviously, you shouldn't tell him a lot about yourself if you don't want him to like you.
# 9: Talk about "Twilight" all the time.
Fact: 99% of straight men hate Twilight. Trust me.
# 8: Buy a freakin' taser.
Tasers are freakin' awesome. If he won't leave you alone and he tries to get physical, tase him good (only in self defense; otherwise, just tell him you own a Taser. You don't want to go to court with the excuse, "but he likes me!").
# 7: Be the opposite of his type.
If he likes the city-barbie type, then even if that's where your roots are, try to be a little different around him.
Although, if he doesn't have a type, then you're just screwed.
# 6: Make sure your friends know you don't like him.
It's hard to get away from someone when you and your friends are pulling in opposite directions. Most of the time, your friends and family know you well enough to know when someone is a good match for you, but if you're not feeling it, make sure to point out said mismatch.
# 5: Don't let him know you have a cellphone.
If a guy notices you using a cell phone and he likes you, chances are he'll ask for your number. DON'T GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER BECAUSE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. I mean, c'mon.
Also, sometimes a guy may ask to borrow your phone, in which case, if you can do it without being rude, if he doesn't know you have a phone, either tell him you don't have one, you're out of minutes, or just give him change for a payphone. He could be one of those weird guys who puts his # in your contacts or drafts folder so you'll be sure to see it and call, because you probably won't remember how it got there and you'll call it.
# 4: Avoid a situation where you'd be alone with him.
If you're alone with him, he's going to want to talk to you, and that'll make things awkward for you if you don't like him if he wasn't already one of your friends. Make yourself look busy doing something.
# 3: Be sure not to "accidentally" flirt with him.
Guys can take a lot of things the wrong way, including body language. This is especially true if he doesn't have much experience with girls (or he's just hardheaded).
# 2: Have an EBF (Emergency BoyFriend).
If you're single and a guy likes you, having one of your male friends (who doesn't like you) pretend to be your boyfriend around the guy you don't like is always a nice option. Yes, EBFs are such old news, but it works.
If you actually have a boyfriend, then obviously you don't need an EBF, because your boyfriend will probably beat the guy to a pulp for getting on your nerves.
# 1: Be assertive and specific.
If you decide to just come out and tell a guy you don't like him, be serious. Make it known that you don't ever want to date him. Don't say, "I just don't like you like that" or "I don't want a boyfriend right now or "you're a great guy, but..." because he'll keep trying if you let him.
Some guys are easy to discourage when it comes to women, they just need a few reasons to move on. Don't be a downright a-hole because it could come back to bite you someday, like if you like one of his good friends and the guy you didn't like told the other guy everything you did to him, so there goes your chance with the other guy. Yeah.
If someone is downright stalker-ish with you, get a restraining order, seriously.
Have you ever had a problem with someone who was determined to date you?
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
I thought I'd post an entry just checking to see if I actually still have readers, because I know I've lost a lot in the past couple months (not to mention, I've dropped to an average of about 4,000 footprints a week, which is bad), likely due to posting once-ish a month, which is my fault, obviously. I haven't had motivation or reason to post, really. I would update you all on my life, but it's rather boring.
Anyway, I found this rather amusing.
"Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering takeout from heaven."
Sooo, I was wondering, if you're still reading, just leave me a comment saying anything you like (just not anything dirty), and I'm going to try to start posting weekly again instead of monthly.
Catch me on AIM:
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